"What's the matter, Paul? What are you driving at?"
"Nothing . . . nothing in particular. Only one never knows what can happen in times like these. . . . One has to be so careful . . ."
Rearden chuckled. "You're not trying to worry about me, are you?"
"It's just that I'm your friend, Hank. I'm your friend. You know how much I admire you."
Paul Larkin had always been unlucky. Nothing he touched ever came off quite well, nothing ever quite failed or succeeded. He was a businessman, but he could not manage to remain for long in any one line of business. At the moment, he was struggling with a modest plant that manufactured mining equipment.
He had clung to Rearden for years, in awed admiration. He came for advice, he asked for loans at times, but not often; the loans were modest and were always repaid, though not always on time. His motive in the relationship seemed to resemble the need of an anemic person who receives a kind of living transfusion from the mere sight of a savagely overabundant vitality.
Watching Larkin's efforts, Rearden felt what he did when he watched an ant struggling under the load of a matchstick. It's so hard for him, thought Rearden, and so easy for me. So he gave advice, attention and a tactful, patient interest, whenever he could.
"I'm your friend, Hank."
Rearden looked at him inquiringly.
Larkin glanced away, as if debating something in his mind. After a while, he asked cautiously, "How is your man in Washington?"
"Okay, I guess."
"You ought to be sure of it. It's important." He looked up at Rearden, and repeated with a kind of stressed insistence, as if discharging a painful moral duty, "Hank, it's very important."
"I suppose so."
"In fact, that's what I came here to tell you."
"For any special reason?"
Larkin considered it and decided that the duty was discharged. "No," he said.
Rearden disliked the subject. He knew that it was necessary to have a man to protect him from the legislature; all industrialists had to employ such men. But he had never given much attention to this aspect of his business; he could not quite convince himself that it was necessary.
An inexplicable kind of distaste, part fastidiousness, part boredom, stopped him whenever he tried to consider it.
"Trouble is, Paul," he said, thinking aloud, "that the men one has to pick for that job are such a crummy lot,"
Larkin looked away. "That's life," he said.
"Damned if I see why. Can you tell me that? What's wrong with the world?"
Larkin shrugged sadly. "Why ask useless questions? How deep is the ocean? How high is the sky? Who is John Galt?"
Rearden sat up straight. "No," he said sharply. "No. There's no reason to feel that way."
He got up. His exhaustion had gone while he talked about his business. He felt a sudden spurt of rebellion, a need to recapture and defiantly to reassert his own view of existence, that sense of it which he had held while walking home tonight and which now seemed threatened in some nameless manner.
He paced the room, his energy returning. He looked at his family.
They were bewildered, unhappy children - he thought - all of them, even his mother, and he was foolish to resent their ineptitude; it came from their helplessness, not from malice. It was he who had to make himself learn to understand them, since he had so much to give, since they could never share his sense of joyous, boundless power.
He glanced at them from across the room. His mother and Philip were engaged in some eager discussion; but he noted that they were not really eager, they were nervous. Philip sat in a low chair, his stomach forward, his weight on his shoulder blades, as if the miserable discomfort of his position were intended to punish the onlookers.
"What's the matter, Phil?" Rearden asked, approaching him. "You look done in."
"I've had a hard day," said Philip sullenly.
"You're not the only one who works hard," said his mother. "Others have problems, too - even if they're not billion-dollar, trans-super-continental problems like yours."
"Why, that's good. I always thought that Phil should find some interest of his own."
"Good? You mean you like to see your brother sweating his health away? It amuses you, doesn't it? I always thought it did."
"Why, no, Mother. I'd like to help."
"You don't have to help. You don't have to feel anything for any of us."
Rearden had never known what his brother was doing or wished to do. He had sent Philip through college, but Philip had not been able to decide on any specific ambition. There was something wrong, by Rearden's standards, with a man who did not seek any gainful employment, but he would not impose his standards on Philip; he could afford to support his brother and never notice the expense. Let him take it easy, Rearden had thought for years, let him have a chance to choose his career without the strain of struggling for a livelihood.
"What were you doing today, Phil?" he asked patiently.
"It wouldn't interest you."
"It does interest me. That's why I'm asking."
"I had to see twenty different people all over the place, from here to Redding to Wilmington."
"What did you have to see them about?"
"I am trying to raise money for Friends of Global Progress."
Rearden had never been able to keep track of the many organizations to which Philip belonged, nor to get a clear idea of their activities. He had heard Philip talking vaguely about this one for the last six months.
It seemed to be devoted to some sort of free lectures on psychology, folk music and co-operative farming. Rearden felt contempt for groups of that kind and saw no reason for a closer inquiry into their nature.
He remained silent. Philip added without being prompted, "We need ten thousand dollars for a vital program, but it's a martyr's task, trying to raise money. There's not a speck of social conscience left in people.
When I think of the kind of bloated money-bags I saw today - why, they spend more than that on any whim, but I couldn't squeeze just a hundred bucks a piece out of them, which was all I asked. They have no sense of moral duty, no . . . What are you laughing at?" he asked sharply. Rearden stood before him, grinning.
It was so childishly blatant, thought Rearden, so helplessly crude: the hint and the insult, offered together. It would be so easy to squash Philip by returning the insult, he thought - by returning an insult which would be deadly because it would be true - that he could not bring himself to utter it. Surely, he thought, the poor fool knows he's at my mercy, knows he's opened himself to be hurt, so I don't have to do it, and my not doing it is my best answer, which he won't be able to miss.
What sort of misery does he really live in, to get himself twisted quite